Archive for HUMOR

Thursday 13 below my health update.

Well, my 1st annual follow-up from my heart ablation at the end of September of last year is over. After doing an EKG and many other tests, I got a good report! I asked several questions and he answered them thoroughly…I like this guy. That is saying a whole heckuva lot if you want to really know. I told him I didn’t like my other cardiologist after so many bad side effects from Lisinopril and he doing nothing to change and me ending up in ER…that he said he understood. He then didn’t degrade the former cardiologist, nor did he pressure me in any way to get a new one. Giving me a ‘good to go’ and ‘good to do’, I’m feeling mighty fine. I pray it continues to be good for me. He also told me to get my cholesterol down…well, I had to explain to him [since he knows the list of medications I'm taking] that I got my cholesterol down WITHOUT any prescription drugs. He was amazed and very pleased!! As I am. Too, I hope I can continue to do so, tho I must confess I ate red meat a couple of times. Which I vowed not to do again. I felt relieved that all was well with my ticker! I feel now that it’s not a time bomb waiting to go off…[tho in the back of my head I do know that I'll always be a 'high risk' patient]. If all goes well, I don’t need to return for another year. And my Primary Care Physician only wants to see me for picking up my blood work papers if I continue to feel well. That says a lot to me also. I’m happy with the outcome.

edition #83


[click to play a short 'tribal beat' for ambiance!]



…and here she is again!!! I love humor, I love joking, I love laughter. Hope you will too. My thirteen this week comes from a wise ol’ lady named Jefé [pronounced HEH fay in Spanish slang - meaning 'boss or chief', being in this case, a "chieftress" but I like Jefé - you guessed it, I really DO have chin whiskers'] These are thirteen[?] tried and true living experiences from the aged one with her keen perception on life——-

1] Noah kept his bees in archives!

2] Part-time bandleaders semi-conductors.

3] Think about it: Pilots take crash-courses; it’s called simulation.

4] Speaking of pilots, getting off a non-stop flight would be a challenge.

5] I ‘ve, in all my years, not seen a toad use his stool yet.

6] For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

7] Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

8] Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Trust me.

9] The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

10] A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11] Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

12] After driving in Texas, I’m convinced that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone licensed in this state would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

13] Just seeing if you’re paying attention!!! Oh….sorry, my last bit of knowledge is: A man who walks sideways will get to Bangkok!

Join Here

Innocence of youth: ‘Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust…’ He would have continued but at that moment a small girl who was listening intently to his sermon, leaned over to her mother beside her, then asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mommy, what is butt dust?’

With that little bit of humor added above, I begin my post today…

For Photo Hunt’s theme this week, it’s ‘TOGETHER’.

While setting out a bit of Thanksgiving decorations around the house, I leave the room for just a minute or two and what do I come back to witness? Our Winston [dressed in white from head to toe] and Tahoe [in her best black gown]…on a table!!! Together!!! Together in mischief to be more exact. Do they look innocent or guilty for being caught on a table?

What a duo, huh? They both have trouble written all over their expression. Ya, right!!! More like: “Okay, Anni, so you caught us. Big deal. Now don’t you think this is a Kodak moment?” “Blog us!”

–OR–

What goes together with a good meal?
A homemade dessert.
From a mix these days…

Just mix the cake mix together with the pecans
and top it all off with cream cheese frosting.
Spicy carrot cake with pecan pieces, topped with the cream cheese?….
Together…a great combination.

Join Here

Innocence of youth: ‘Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust…’ He would have continued but at that moment a small girl who was listening intently to his sermon, leaned over to her mother beside her, then asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mommy, what is butt dust?’

With that little bit of humor added above, I begin my post today…

For Photo Hunt’s theme this week, it’s ‘TOGETHER’.

While setting out a bit of Thanksgiving decorations around the house, I leave the room for just a minute or two and what do I come back to witness? Our Winston [dressed in white from head to toe] and Tahoe [in her best black gown]…on a table!!! Together!!! Together in mischief to be more exact. Do they look innocent or guilty for being caught on a table?

What a duo, huh? They both have trouble written all over their expression. Ya, right!!! More like: “Okay, Anni, so you caught us. Big deal. Now don’t you think this is a Kodak moment?” “Blog us!”

–OR–

What goes together with a good meal?
A homemade dessert.
From a mix these days…

Just mix the cake mix together with the pecans
and top it all off with cream cheese frosting.
Spicy carrot cake with pecan pieces, topped with the cream cheese?….
Together…a great combination.

Halloween Humor


-edition #81

1] You know you’re too old for trick ‘r treating if:

    When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and you can’t remember the rest. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. You ask for high fiber candy only. You get winded from knocking on the door.
2] When Trick ‘r treating, avoid these houses:
    Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. Any house that growls “get out.” Any house that wasn’t there only a minute ago…
3] Trick ‘r treating by your ‘sign’–
    Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first. Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates. Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again. Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters. Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out because someone else had the same idea. Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they’re a bookkeeper. Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume. Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy. Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town. Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take. Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts. Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
4] Pun on words: This guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back. “What on earth are you?” asks the host. “I’m a snail,” says the guy. “But… you have a girl on your back,” replies the host. “Yeah, he says, “that’s Michelle!”

5] If on Halloween, the appliances operate by themselves, LEAVE!!

6] Don’t accept candy from the dead!

7] Stay OFF Elm Street!

8] If you completely forget it’s Halloween:

    Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
9] What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
    Transparents!
10] What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern
by it’s diameter?
    Pumpkin Pi.
11] Why can people near Beethoven’s grave hear all his symphonies being played backwards?
    Because Beethoven is decomposing!
12] Vampire’s Bar
    Three vampires walk into a bar.The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they’ll have. The first vampire says, (Transylvanian accent inferred) “I’ll have a glass of O Positive.” The second vampire says, “I’ll have a glass of AB Negative.” The third vampire says, “I’m the designated driver. I’ll just have a glass of plasma.” The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells, “Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!”
13] A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night.
It’s dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Behind him. He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and through the darkness, and he can just see an upright coffin.
No one seems to be holding the coffin; it’s just bumping down the street behind him.
The man is scared. He’s sure it’s following him! In an effort to shake it off, her turns a corner. To his relief, the sound stops. He keeps walking but before a minute has passed, he hears the familiar sound behind him again:

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

He is terrified! He starts to run towards his home, but the faster he runs, the faster the coffin bounces along behind him!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

He pushes open his front gate, and runs up the path, fumbling for his keys. The coffin reaches the gate and effortlessly pushes it open. It’s right behind him!!!
Finally his shaking hands manage to unlock his front door. He has no time to slam it behind him; the coffin is right on his heels! He rushes up the stairs, praying the coffin cannot climb after him.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

The coffin pauses at the bottom of the stairs. The man breathes a sigh of relief but …

clappity BUMP…

clappity BUMP…

clappity BUMP…

The coffin is now climbing the stairs behind him. He runs to the bathroom perhaps he can lock himself in there! His heart pounds and his lungs hurt with the exertion of running for his life! He has only just latched the bathroom door when …

CRASH!!!

The coffin breaks through the bathroom door!

What can he do? The coffin is nearly upon him! He reaches out for something heavy that he can throw at the coffin, and his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of cough syrup.
Desperately, he throws the cough syrup as hard as he can at the coffin and…

…finally the coffin stops!!

~…end Thursday 13
[comment HERE to skip the Halloween Handouts]

<><><>

Friday is Halloween!!! Oh, yay I say!!!
The last of the treats’ll be handed out,
and tho just another day, ’tis really quite so keen…
HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL! And to all a good day –I shout!

Here are the friends who will receive the Halloween treats from me today:

Kitten
Sandcastle Momma
Suzanne

…and here is the treat:

If you see your name above, click on the treat and it’ll open in a new window, then click to save.

<><><>

I received this award Monday from Patricia!! It’s awesome! Thank you. Thank you for thinking of me when you passed this on to your blog friends. It truly made me day!

Halloween Humor


-edition #81

1] You know you’re too old for trick ‘r treating if:

    When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and you can’t remember the rest. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. You ask for high fiber candy only. You get winded from knocking on the door.
2] When Trick ‘r treating, avoid these houses:
    Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. Any house that growls “get out.” Any house that wasn’t there only a minute ago…
3] Trick ‘r treating by your ‘sign’–
    Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first. Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates. Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again. Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters. Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out because someone else had the same idea. Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they’re a bookkeeper. Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume. Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy. Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town. Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take. Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts. Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
4] Pun on words: This guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back. “What on earth are you?” asks the host. “I’m a snail,” says the guy. “But… you have a girl on your back,” replies the host. “Yeah, he says, “that’s Michelle!”

5] If on Halloween, the appliances operate by themselves, LEAVE!!

6] Don’t accept candy from the dead!

7] Stay OFF Elm Street!

8] If you completely forget it’s Halloween:

    Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
9] What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
    Transparents!
10] What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern
by it’s diameter?
    Pumpkin Pi.
11] Why can people near Beethoven’s grave hear all his symphonies being played backwards?
    Because Beethoven is decomposing!
12] Vampire’s Bar
    Three vampires walk into a bar.The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they’ll have. The first vampire says, (Transylvanian accent inferred) “I’ll have a glass of O Positive.” The second vampire says, “I’ll have a glass of AB Negative.” The third vampire says, “I’m the designated driver. I’ll just have a glass of plasma.” The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells, “Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!”
13] A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night.
It’s dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Behind him. He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and through the darkness, and he can just see an upright coffin.
No one seems to be holding the coffin; it’s just bumping down the street behind him.
The man is scared. He’s sure it’s following him! In an effort to shake it off, her turns a corner. To his relief, the sound stops. He keeps walking but before a minute has passed, he hears the familiar sound behind him again:

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

He is terrified! He starts to run towards his home, but the faster he runs, the faster the coffin bounces along behind him!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

Bumpity BUMP!

He pushes open his front gate, and runs up the path, fumbling for his keys. The coffin reaches the gate and effortlessly pushes it open. It’s right behind him!!!
Finally his shaking hands manage to unlock his front door. He has no time to slam it behind him; the coffin is right on his heels! He rushes up the stairs, praying the coffin cannot climb after him.

BUMP!

BUMP!

BUMP!

The coffin pauses at the bottom of the stairs. The man breathes a sigh of relief but …

clappity BUMP…

clappity BUMP…

clappity BUMP…

The coffin is now climbing the stairs behind him. He runs to the bathroom perhaps he can lock himself in there! His heart pounds and his lungs hurt with the exertion of running for his life! He has only just latched the bathroom door when …

CRASH!!!

The coffin breaks through the bathroom door!

What can he do? The coffin is nearly upon him! He reaches out for something heavy that he can throw at the coffin, and his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of cough syrup.
Desperately, he throws the cough syrup as hard as he can at the coffin and…

…finally the coffin stops!!

~…end Thursday 13
[comment HERE to skip the Halloween Handouts]

<><><>

Friday is Halloween!!! Oh, yay I say!!!
The last of the treats’ll be handed out,
and tho just another day, ’tis really quite so keen…
HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL! And to all a good day –I shout!

Here are the friends who will receive the Halloween treats from me today:

Kitten
Sandcastle Momma
Suzanne

…and here is the treat:

If you see your name above, click on the treat and it’ll open in a new window, then click to save.

<><><>

I received this award Monday from Patricia!! It’s awesome! Thank you. Thank you for thinking of me when you passed this on to your blog friends. It truly made me day!

Edition 79

Friday night!!! At long last. I’ve been waiting since June when we got the tickets….I get to ‘meet’ a favorite. And, I can hardly remain calm. It seems an eternity this past summer, patiently I continued my days in anticipation of October 17th! Altho, Jeff Dunham is cute and all…it’s the infamous characters that are part of his show that make your belly sore and your sides ache from laughing so hard and so long. Why, of course…afterall, it IS the show!

My Thursday 13 is about Jeff Dunham and his co-horts- -

1] Jeff Dunham was born in 1960 in Dallas Texas. Graduate of Communications from Baylor University
2] He and his wife, Paige, have three children [Bree, Ashlyn, and Kenna] from wikipedia
3] Oftentimes his menagerie of characters are called “suitcase posse”
4] His first experience [a self taught ventriloquist] was in 3rd grade, an oral book report of Hansel and Gretel using a plastic “Mortimer Snerd” puppet.
5] Literally having the audience on the floor with laughter, his first Hollywood stint landed him on the couch next to Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show
6] Voted the #1 Standup Comedian by the American Comedy Awards, and comedian of the year by TNN Music Awards.
7] The YouTube clip of Achmed is the 2nd most favorite of over 200 million videos! [the clip is linked -listen to him while reading my 13. :o )]

8] Walter – The grumpy old man [who also has his name on the Presidential ballot here] During Dunham’s skit, Walter is usually in a suitcase off to the side while making rude, cantankerous remarks. But, he finally comes out of the case, only to make y’all laughing hysterically.

9] There is “Peanut”, who supposedly hails from an uncharted island in Micronesia. A one shoe wonder! I first saw Peanut in Dunham’s Spark of Insanity Comedy Central hit show.

10] There is José Jalapeno on a Stick. He proclaims to have avoided destiny to be eaten by meeting Jeff after an ‘accident’ in his homeland, Mexico, which left him permanently on a ‘steek’!

11] Bubba J. loves beer and NASCAR. The “J.” is short for his last name, Junior. Bubba is married, and is assumed to have at least one child. Outlandish as his characteristically redneck attitude is, another oddity is that the dummy can move just his left eye from center to left.

12] Sweet Daddy D. is a man clad in pimp-like clothing who claims to be Jeff’s manager “You´re not white, you´re like neon white”. “Sweeeeeeeeet Daddy D”, a playa in management position (PIMP). And “Melvin” – Melvin has only two real powers (flight and X-ray vision, although he can’t see through silicone), he claims he’d be more of a superhero if it weren’t for his large nose and small stature. He alternately claims his arch nemesis is Pinocchio, and his wife, but only at certain times of the month when she “turns evil.” Jeff asks him if he has any weakness. “Cupcakes . . . and Pornography.” Melvin continues, “but not at the same time. I need a free hand!”

13] Lastly, my favorite. Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
Achmed is a wisecracking skeleton with a beard and a white turban (an early version of Achmed stated that it was not a turban, but underwear, because ‘when someone says it’s time to kill yourself, it scares the sh!t out of you!’). He is used by Dunham to perform comedy based on the contemporary issue of terrorism. He is known for yelling, “Silence! I kill you!” [which in Europe the ringtone Achmed The Dead Terrorist’s catchphrase “Silence! I KILL YOU!” is an instant hit] to people in the audience who laugh at his customs.

He insists on pronouncing the “ch” in his name with a hocker. When asked how his name is spelled, he replies “A… c… phlegm…” and is interrupted by the audience’s laughter. He responds with his usual cry of “Silence! I kill you!” Jeff originally got the idea for Achmed from his good lifelong friend, Connor Mayne. Jeff made Achmed out of Connor Mayne’s skeleton Halloween decoration.Achmed’s normal routine involves him realizing that he is dead. Achmed may seem like he is Muslim, but he has refuted this claim. When asked, he replies “Look at my ass; it says ‘Made in China’”. Afraid of Walter, with whom he shares a suitcase, he claims that “Saddam’s mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart.”

~…end Thursday Thirteen
[comment HERE if you'd like to skip the Halloween Treats]

And finally, the Halloween Treats:

It’s a different week, and the treat again will be different. This week, it’s a bit on the ‘more Autumn’ kinda treat. With a little “Halloween flair” but more to do with Fall. I’m handing them out for commentors to my blog who leave ME treats this month with their kind words. Don’t be dismayed, I plan on handing them out daily. Only take them if your name appears for the day—

So, check back often, you’re name may show up here!
To begin my traditional fun, as I love Halloween, today the trick ‘r’ treaters are:

Susan
Jen
After Hours Mom
Jean

And the treat this week will be:

When your name appears above, if you’d like to save this, click on it to enlarge…you’ll then be able to grab the treat and run! Happy October, Happy Halloween.

Our Fun Monday host asks of us:

    Your job is to doodle this week. Keep a piece of paper near the phone or grab a scrap of paper while you are watching TV. Start with the number 9, for Nine Acres, of course. Draw the number 9 in red and then use a different color for the rest of your doodling. That way we can all see where the original 9 was in your doodle. It is up to you how you incorporate the 9 into the doodle. It can look like something we know, or it can just be shapes. It can be colorful, or can be one color, besides the red 9. When you are finished your doodle, take a picture of it or scan it and post it on Monday.

I can’t wait to hop over there today sometime and see just how I’m going to be analyzed!! hehehehe

Here is my doodles paper, scanned:

…and then, oh oh…do I really want to do this? Just how close will this ‘analysis’ be to the real me? Okay…again, here goes nuttin’!!! *clicking on the analytical site url*

    Cats: Doodles of cats need to be examined carefully. Is it playful in nature, or is it a spiteful/aggressive cat? The nature of the cat indicates it’s meaning. [Mine, of course, is happy!}
    Dots: Dots forming a pattern or picture are sometimes the doodles of a fragmented personality. They can also indicate an extreme state of anxiety or a lack of stability. [I think I'm very stable!- but, I used dots for eyes, right?]
    Eyes: Doodles of eyes are often sign of a wish to be alluring. However, repeatedly doodled eyes may indicate that they feel constantly watched. [Me alluring? I don't think so!! But, I wonder just what the heck it means when I start with an eye and in red no less?]
    Jets: Aeroplanes of all kinds are said to be evidence of a strong sex drive. [Two words - 'Oh sh!t'!!]
    Newspaper Headlines: People who fill in or embellish the letters in newspaper headlines are thought to be the soldiers in life rather than the initiatore. [I certainly embellished...my huge Obama and Nov. 4th. Could possibly mean headlines I guess...but I need to get the thesaurus, what the heck is initiatore?]
    Portraits: Faces are usually doodled by adolescent girls, seeking to produce an idealized self-portrait. Faces in profile, however, can be a sign of an introverted personality. Comic faces are usually drawn by men, indicating a desire to be the centre of attention. [Oh, so now they call me an adolescent girl with a man's desire to be the center of attention? Well....hmmphf!!! I never!!!]

My own personal analysis would be I’m a sex driven, zoom-zoom, curvy, earring toting beauty queen [kidding!], with a red eye [better than a red a$$, right?] who can be partly sunny in demeanor with a rainy side at the same time; one who loves her kitties and computer, can eat a lot, loves the country for which it stands, and most of all….bubbly!! [Didn't you notice the bubbles coming out of my can of Sprite™?] Could very well be that I play the game ‘cat and mouse’ too, ’cause I made sure that I drew the mouse by the cats/computer!!

Note: I actually checked Google for define:initiatore –it asked if I actually meant ‘initiator’. I feel better now. [and that my friends must be the doodle part of pumpkin pie, Sprite and a shopping list...the initiator in me!!]

~…end Fun Monday
[CLICK HERE to comment]

And finally, the Halloween Treats:

It’s a different week, and the treat again will be different. This week, it’s a bit on the ‘more Autumn’ kinda treat. With a little “Halloween flair” but more to do with Fall. I’m handing them out for commentors to my blog who leave ME treats this month with their kind words. Don’t be dismayed, I plan on handing them out daily. Only take them if your name appears for the day—

So, check back often, you’re name may show up here!
To begin my traditional fun, as I love Halloween, today the trick ‘r’ treaters are:

Mimi
Charlotte
Carmen
Maribeth

And the treat this week will be:

When your name appears above, if you’d like to save this, click on it to enlarge…you’ll then be able to grab the treat and run! Happy October, Happy Halloween.

…~end Wordless
[comment HERE if you'd like to skip 2nd section of my Wednesday Blog]

There are times I could just eat my words. I have said a few times that I really like Windows Vista. Well, yesterday I was ready to ‘hang Mr. Gates’!! Y’all know I love to work with graphics and graphic design. I was hooked on it since the beginning when a friend of mine gave me a software program. Of course I still continue to learn more things as I go through the days, but when I lost my computer last year, and I got the new Windows Vista, I never ever thought of downloading and installing new fonts to my font file. After several months now of doing my own blog header and template background, I decided the other day “I’m getting tired, bored, with my font files. I need some new stuff.” Out on the ‘net I go in search of what’s new and perhaps find some of my old favorites that was on the old computer. Trust me when I say “I went overboard”. I downloaded 38 font files in zipped files. Saved ‘em. And then, one morning I decided to open the zipped files and install the fonts.

OMG! Vista is a pain. Literally! LOL —my wrists began to hurt from having to click ‘okay’ this, and ‘okay’ that and clicking on virus scan for each and every file that was zipped. Then, with Vista…you as the administrator have to ‘allow’ this to open, and then ‘allow’ it to be placed in its own separate file. Next you have to open each and every new file with the .ttf font and click on it and intall it, then while you’re doing all this —you have to ‘allow’ it all over again!!

Why can’t you just open the file after scanning for viruses and click install? I sat on the butt for a couple of hours getting them all set in the font file. Afterwards, I then had to go and delete the zipped files…then, go down the entire OS [C:] file and delete the individual files!! Lordy!!!

Okay, so I got my new fonts to play with. Need Graphics? rofl

Thursday 13 below the update

UPDATE ON P J in Galveston Texas area:

    I talked with her Wednesday morning, and she told me her house is still standing! Prayer is strong, thanks everyone! She was very upbeat; telling me that it stinks in her house, that she didn’t realize mold could grow so quickly. Also, she added jokingly that two neighbors’ mail boxes were in her yard and down the street someone else’s boat was in their yard…she said “Why couldn’t the boat have landed in HER yard?” A little bit more: The refrigerator in her house was blown over but the magnets on the door remained attached. Bottom of the house structure was flooded. The neighborhood was condemned for a couple of purposes…to keep the city from being sued I’m sure —anyway, the electricity is expected to take 3 weeks for it to be up and running…the water/sewage will take approximately 2 months. Best thing of this outcome is…she, her husband and kitty family are okay. They have a place to stay for now, and her corporate office is going to provide a rental for them until their house is once again livable!!!


Edition 75

Men, Boobs, Bras and Laughter –all rolled into a Thursday Thirteen +1
[ps check the guys' facial expressions too! Typical pigs of them.]

- – -

Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?

10] MENtal illness,

11] MENstrual cramps,

12] MENtal breakdown,

13] MENopause…………

………And

BONUS – When we have real trouble it’ s HISterectomy!!!!

Thursday Thirteen is the last section of this blog entry. To skip about our morning’s excursion on Wednesday, scroll down a bit.

This is the first time since we relocated in Texas that we will vote as Texan residents for President of the USA. The last time we voted in a Presidential Election was in Arizona. So, we both made a special effort to make sure we were actively registered in our county. I’ve been following the campaigns…all of them, Democratic AND Republican, since late January. And tho I feel uncomfortable with the summons of jury duty, I feel strongly about having the right and the privilege to vote for the leader of our great nation. First and foremost, people have died for my right and my freedom, I need to have a leader in office that will serve and protect our country –be they who I voted for or not….it’s THE thing to do as an American. I was readied, not knowing exactly what the requirements for the state of Texas were; in regards to proving I was a U. S. citizen. So I went prepared with proof. And to my surprise, being that we border Old Mexico, it was so simple, and all we did was check a box on the voter registration that we were indeed American born. To me that was odd. I’ve learned over the past three years that Texas is lenient in some things that I feel IS important and very lackadaisical, while in areas that are really nothing, they empower themselves with laws and such that are unnecessary. But to each state I live in, I must abide. Now, I’m ready to cast my ballot in November.

While Bud and I were out and about, downtown by the courthouse, we were very close to the Harbor Bridge, and I thought it’d be a good thing to just take off and drive to Portland. So cross the icky bridge we did, and over another causeway heading northeast to Portland.

I had some shopping to do besides. For the last few days, when around town, I kept forgetting to buy a huge, over-sized, bubble packing envelope for Irene’s witch boot that I made her and need to ship it off. Today, I made a special trip to get that very thing…stopping at Wal Mart. I had in my hand the next to the largest envelope and Bud came up behind me and told me “Get the bigger one, that boot is bigger than you think.”…So, down I put the smaller one and tossed the largest in the cart.

While Bud went off to find the book and magazine racks I searched out the store for Halloween stuff. Nothing. But they’re beginning to clear shelves for everything. They were putting out the snack size trick-r-treat candy bags and I found a 1# bag of corn candy [Brach's...only Brach's, I buy no other brand]. Which made me go over to the grocery section of this particular Wal Mart and pick up a 2# tub of peanuts. That’s our Autumn candy treats. I mix both together…every year for the past 40 years. We both love the salty, sweet snack.

And this Wal Mart also has a craft section that sells bolts of material. I’ve been watching a couple of things on E bay that are the ‘primitive witch dolls’ and have been debating whether to bid on them. They had Halloween cotton print there and I picked out a couple of bolts and got one yard each…Then, over to the pattern books. I found a vintage clown pattern that I had made for the kids years ago…I can implement some changes and end up with a witch. But oooooooooooh, the price of patterns about floored me!! Seriously, I about blew a fuse! I remember way back when, it was at least 1/2 the cost when you made something yourself. Not any more.

Why, check it out!!! $15+???!!! For a pattern? A toy pattern at that!! It was only $8.75 at this discount store, but still…..I’m thinking there must be some oil in the making of the product. Right? [kidding!] Certainly, Simplicity [and McCalls] is a gold mine. Maybe I should buy stock.

- – -

After Wal Mart, we were both hungry. And hot. We didn’t want to do much more in terms of driving other than getting back to the city. We ended up on the freeway heading back to Corpus and stopped at a McDonald’s close to home. I of course, since we were in a strip mall, had to check out a couple of stores. The Dollar Store, and then next door was Big Lots! -which always has a lot of Halloween goodies. The Dollar Store had nothing that impressed me and we both walked over to Big Lots! Oh sweet mother…shelves of Halloween stuff. Still, nothing that we don’t have already. [insert giggles]. I did find a couple of placemats that were ‘charming’ and kitchen towel sets with witches of course. Got them.

Look closely at the placemats…little Ms. Snoop [Tahoe] had to check them out right away. In fact she laid down on them and took a nap eventually. Winston was more interested in the sacks and making them rustle. Well, that was our morning. A good thing we went early ’cause it got very hot once the car was stopped and the A/C was off. Like walking through a ship’s boiler room in mid-summer.

Now on with My Thursday meme –

Edition 73

One of my favorite humorists is the late Erma Bombeck. On Tuesday, mentioning Alan’s humor skits and Yogisms, I thought of Ms. Bombeck. For Thursday I’ve listed thirteen memorable quotes from the same; number one being my most favorite. Why? It just is!!!

- – -

Erma said:

1- I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: “Checkout Time is 18 years.”

2- If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

3- Never accept a drink from a urologist.

4- On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

5- Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

6- There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.

7- Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

8- I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

9- Mother’s words of wisdom: “Answer me! Don’t talk with food in your mouth!”

10- Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

11- Most children’s first words are “Mama” or “Daddy.” Mine were, “Do I have to use my own money?”

12- Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.

13- Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

_____

[And in regards to my 'favorite of the thirteen' tho I think it's funny, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a 'bad mother'....once a mother, ALWAYS a mother, that distinction and title in life, never changes. Even when I was a child of pre-teen I wanted kids and to be a mother for them. Yet, when they become adults, I also think it's time for them to move on and make a life of their own and not depend on me either....it's a fact of life. I won't be around for an eternity, and I refuse to be selfish and keep them around me just 'cause I want them nearby. I'd love to have them both closer, but to me it's much much more important for them to have independence than to have them at arms reach. A child is conceived out of love, and they pass on your legacy....they must live an adult life and be it 18 or whatever age, they must make it on their own or your work isn't successful in my view. They can leave your 'nest' and still be your kids...that too never changes.]

caricature found on internet.
no infringement intended.

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