Hootin’ Anni’s

“SILENCE!!!!—— I ….”

I was still recouping from last Friday Night on Sunday!! The Jeff Dunham show actually began on time [usually when we attend these 'concerts' they make us wait, but not this one]. The bank center where the event was being held was packed. We had pretty good seats, but not front row. By the time I got into ticketmaster, the front rows were taken already. But we had section B, floor, row two and seats 12 and 13 near the stage. And luck was on my side, we had no one to the left of us…so, we were very comfortable. Believe me when I say it was elbow to elbow. It was like squirming sardines, packed so close.

And loud. But, don’t get me wrong, I love loud when it comes to having fun. And this was fun! So much fun that I ached halfway through the show. I haven’t laughed this hard and this long for soooooooo long. And the concert lasted hours! It started shortly after 8 and went to about 11:30/11:45!! When we got home afterward, we were tired. No, Exhausted— But, truthfully, it was a good exhaustion [I'll be trying for days now to get back to normal].

First, the Guitar Guy. If you follow Jeff Dunham, you know now that Achmed sings with the Guitar Guy. Brian Haner. He and Achmed sing a version of a Christmas song “Jingle Bombs”. Well, at eight, on stage comes Brian. And he can really play the guitar. He had me so hyped up. He actually played a Guns and Roses…’Sweet Child of Mine’. Loud enough to probably break a few eardrums…but wow!!! And his comedy routine while playing was a hoot!!! He entertained us and played his guitar about 20 to 30 minutes. About a ten minute break then before the star Walter, Achmed, JEFF comes on stage. Okay…Bud and I go out and get a beer. Nice and cold and icy. It hit the spot.

…back to our seats! Lights dim…anticipation of an hour of gut splitting laughter ahead!!

On stage comes Jeff! He does a new stand up routine about his three teen-aged daughters. That was very funny. A short synopsis you want? Well, if you have a daughter, you know what he’s talking about….boobs appearing, dating, cars. He described how ‘evil’ his wife was while he was out on the road with his show…they bought their daughter an used car for her 16th birthday. Wife tapes a lot of the girls’ lives for Jeff since he’s on tour a lot. The car…daughter pumping gas for the first time…wife videotaping…Jeff telling us the whole spiel! Funny!!! He then, gets us riled —and to our delight, out comes Walter!!!

Then…

He’s such a grumpy ol’ man, you just gotta love the guy! Walter has been around a long time and knows all about life! You just can’t disagree with his attitude! He’s right on. His way of thinking is just too good. And so often his statements make you just say “YA!!! You’re so right Walter!” “Way to go!” “More, more!!!” His routine was quite eloquent if I may say so. I loved the part where he tells Jeff that he has suspicions of the fact that Jeff needs to be watched. The reason, he has been to his house and he has seen all the shooting missiles. All encased. [remember three daughters and a wife at home!] And that they have to be missiles!!! He has seen the tiny fuse [the string] on each and every one of them!!! [of course if you'd been there, you'd know that he was talking about the use of tampons...all over the house! Guess you had to be there....

On to my favorite---

Walter goes back into his beloved trunk, and on stage comes my most favorite. The unbelievably appealing dead terrorist....Achmed!! I yelled, stood up, and whistled to his entry! I just love the guy. Did I say he's adorable? Yes indeedy, he IS!! And with the 'new' routine -that Jeff informed us all will be shown on Comedy Central during the holiday months on cable- it'll be about the holidays of course. And to my ultimate delight, Achmed had his Santa hat on. You see, he's a terrorist that has remained 'alive' but botched his mission....he is so funny!! I laughed and laughed. Some new, some of the more usual routine, but all so refreshing to see them 'live and in person'!!!! Of course by the end of this segment, which ran about 40 minutes maybe...Achmed calls for the Guitar Guy, and sings his ever so popular Jingle Bombs!! [to the tune of Jingle Bells] I’ve seen and listened to this song for so long, I can mouth the words, I love it that much—

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.

I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That’s when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?



Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.

My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
or I’ll kill you…



[a deep guttural voice now] I KILL-L-L YOUOUOU!

It’s just amazing to actually know that Jeff is doing this…in fact, just a couple of times, I glanced over to see Jeff and his throat moving in rhythm…it boggles the mind how a ventriloquist works his voice like that through tight lips. Amazing. I know, I know…I KNOW that I actually think that Achmed is real!!

After Achmed’s hilarity, out comes Peanut!! Peanut is another favorite. He’s just so hyper, with his ‘act’…you find yourself becoming over zealous yourself. And of course Guitar Man comes out during the skit…more laughs and aching sides. I just didn’t want it to come to an end. I knew the show was getting ready to close, and I remained rivited to my seat….Jeff closed the act. The stage was cleared. Standing ovations and cheers and whistles! “Good Night Corpus Christi!!!” Only to have Jeff come back to more cheers and applause. He boughs, gives his thanks, and then, brings out ………

….Bubba J! After the roaring crowd settles down in their seats, the show continued for a few minutes with Jeff saying he’d do this: Which was the familiar routine with Bubba. And as it commenced, those of us who have watched the Dunham show over and over could give Bubba’s answers from our memory…it was a hoot. And let me tellya, the show began about five minutes after 8 in the evening, and it wasn’t over until after eleven!!! We live just a few miles from the downtown area, about 10 minutes at the slowest time [I can drive home from downtown on a GOOD day with no traffic in 5!]….we didn’t get home until about ten minutes after midnight! The show, tho long, I could have stayed and watched more. It was just marvelous. Funny, laughter, —-the best in comedy!

In Political News:

In Texas, one of many states here in the USA, registered citizens can vote for President and local candidates along with bonds and propositions for the county, early! Here in this state, early voting began October 20th. Bud and I decided that we’d get our voting done and avoid the crowds on November 4th. Ummmmmm, I don’t think so!!! We arrived close to the poll’s opening time, and there was a line already! The two of us ended up, in line, over an hour…it took us about 2 hours Tuesday to get through the line, get recorded on the books/county computer…and vote. But…afterward, we were happy to have it finished!!

Weather update

At last, hurricane season is coming to a close for us here on the Texas coast. The Gulf waters are quite a lot cooler now, much less chance of any storms coming in…at least BIG destructive storms. Altho hurricane season doesn’t officially end until November 30th, as long as the waters stay cool and begin to get a lot colder as the nighttime temps continue to drop lower and lower, so does the chance of storms coming in from the Caribbean.

It’s been the most beautiful few days around here. Cool nights, crisp Autumn mornings, then the sun rises—but, the inferno has subsided! Long gone are the days of 100+ degrees in temps. Highs are now in the low 80s to mid 80s. Nearly perfect for me and Bud. It was such a wonderful day yesterday that we grabbed our books, hopped in the car and drove over the JFK causeway to the island and went to the beach to just laze the day away! [a sloppy lookin' ol' lady dressed in her misshapened tank top...but hey, what'dya expect being on the beach and all? ---a princess? roflmao!] I sat and soaked up the rays, listening to the surf and gulls as I read my book…Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Yep, folks, I’m STILL reading this book. It’s taken me all summer, trust me. I’m on page 800 and something, and yet over three hundred pages remain unread! I’m determined to finish this book! It’s VERY good.

Of course, in time, the beach calls me…I always have the urge to walk along the shore and look for shells, and watch the water fowl. This photo is quite a distance from where we parked the car. Bud stayed and read his book [he's reading something on the famed Jack the Ripper saga], while I strolled…I came upon one lone ‘adult’ sea gull and a brood of babies! I didn’t want to disturb them, the photo is a long shot! They were all soaking up the warm sun too! So cute, and sooooo fat! I gave them wide berth and detoured clear around them so they wouldn’t have to fly off with their mistrust of a human.

As I continued making footprints in the sand, I kept my eye out for ‘the perfect’ shell. Granted this area of beach, called Luby Park, always has a lot of remnants of sand dollars. I am always hoping to find a ‘whole’ one without any breakage. They’re so fragile, and break easily. Then, again, there is foot traffic AND vehicles traversing the beach here…so, you’re lucky to find any unbroken ones. Yesterday was a great day when we arrived. Low tide! Lots of shells. And about a mile out from where we parked, there was one. A very tiny one…but it was whole! Unbroken. Yay, me. They’re good luck you know. [the sand dollar here that I found is only about the size of a U.S. quarter] I treated it like a precious stone as I continued walking. And it did make it home in the afternoon…all completely whole!

Back to the car after about an hour walking and combing the beach. I dropped all my goodies that I found. I also picked up a nice-sized piece of driftwood. And more shells. The wood was heavy and soaked with water…but once it dries out, of course I have my mind in high gear, figuring out what ‘art’ project I can come up with to make use of it. This photo is of a heron just a few feet from our beach chair. I love the sparkling water beyond the bird.

Ahhhhhhhh, it was a perfect day. A lazy, wonderful, relaxing day.

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Note: Since this is such a LONG Thursday issue today, I’ll forgo the Halloween treat hand outs and double it tomorrow.